My abs.
Somewhere, deep down - deep, DEEP down - among the lovely lipidy layers, they have been hibernating for winter. It's a winter that's lasted nigh-on seven years. But that winter is over - take that fat-drenched and sauvingnon-infused muscles! It's time to get moving and justufy your existence before I lose you forever.
As you may have guessed from my ramblings, I have been doing stomach crunches. And sit-ups. And a funny thing where you lie on your back with your hands under your bum and lift your feet off the ground and hold it for ages. And it's all been at the say-so of grand master Neil, personal trainer extraordinaire and newly designated master of my destiny.
Here he is:
Now he might look like a sweet and gentlemanly, humane sort of a man. And in a lot of respects he is. But he's also capable of a exerting a pain like no other on my jiggly frame. I know it'll be worth it in the end, when I have transformed from the burst-couch sort of look that I'm rocking at the moment, to something infinitely more svelte. But for now I'm just going to have a bit of a moan because I'm SORE. But all the best things in life hurt the next day. Amirite?
Well here's something freaky. After a training session with Neil, it doesn't hurt the next day. In fact, yesterday I pretty much sauntered to the canteen for my morning coffee (skimmed milk - natch). I even boasted about how good I was at doing my bridges (another torturous pose when I lie face-down and raise my body up by my toes and hold it completely straight and rigid for 10 seconds. I didn't even wake the baby this week… who says I'm not improving?)
Yesterday I felt great. But today my middle feels hideous. I can feel every inch of muscle fibre across my rather generous paunch (or as Neil politely says - my 'core'). If I suck my belly in it throbs and a simple morning stretch is followed by immediate doubling over and groaning. You don't even want to know what it feels like when I sneeze.
But this day-skipping pain is really rather satisfying because it means I am working hard. My body still has the capability of putting itself through a painful workout so maybe there is still hope that I could be thin by 30.
On a more positive note, I managed to get several inches closer to the ground with my press-ups this week compared to my pathetic efforts last time. So the times they are a-changing.
This week I will be mostly running up and down the lane behind my flat because end-to-end it's probably about a mile, it's private and the chances of being seen are vastly reduced. If you DO see me, don't say anything.
Just pay a visit to http://www.donatetomyrelay.org/marieclairejones2011 and make a donation.
Thank you
PS- I'm half a stone down - just 2-and-a-half to go
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